Think Of You
by sofaritsalright
Summary: (Somewhat-AU) Rory and Jess met each other as small children and their friendship developed from there. Through the years, a lot of things change, but one thing remains the same and it's how much they still love each other. This fic takes you through childhood, their teenage years, and present day Literati.
1. September 2, 1993

**A/N:** Hello, dears! I am a terrible, terrible person... I said I wasn't going to start another story until I finished the ones I currently have going. But low and behold, last night inspiration hit me and I created this story. I didn't want to post it, but I already have about seven chapters written. So this is kind of an AU where they met as kids and whatnot and it'll take a small twist in a few chapters. It'll will take place in different parts: Childhood, teenage years, and the present. In order for it not to be confusing, I'll label it all properly and whatnot before the chapters. So, stay tuned! If you could, please review, favorite, and follow. That really helps when it comes to keeping me going! (P.S. - I am updating my other Lit Fics tonight, so stay tuned!)

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 **Stars Hollow — September, 1993**

On an early autumn's day in the town square, a small brunette girl ran circles around her mother and yammered on about how excited she was that school was starting again soon. For being only nine years old, the girl was highly intelligent and always wanted the best of it all. Her mother shook her head and smiled at the small girl as she opened the door to Luke's Diner and walked inside. Once the two girls had stepped inside, they felt an unusual presence among them and spotted it right when they saw Luke's angry red face beam down at a small boy that looked to be around the girls' age. He looked bored as he was getting scolded by the diners owner.

"Luke," Lorelai chuckled and interrupted the awkward conversation happening between the two. "Luke, he's a kid. Leave him alone."

The boy smiled, looking like the devil in disguise. Lorelai already felt some sort of unwavering anger towards him, but like she had told her friend, he's only a kid. Sometimes they're bad seeds from a young age and from the looks of it, this kid was one of the worse seeds out there.

"He's not just any kid," Luke explained as he adjusted his favorite baseball cap. "He's my sisters kid. He's gonna be staying here for awhile."

As Luke explained the whole situation to Lorelai and poured her a cup of coffee, the girl looked over at the boy and smiled. "I'm Rory," she said in a small voice. She had always been fond of making new friends, but she wasn't sure if this kid was going to be taken with her or not.

"Jess," he sighed and looked down at the floor.

Rory frowned and took his disinterest as a cue to stop talking, but after a few moments of hearing Luke and Lorelai bickering, Rory looked back up at the boy. "Wanna hang out sometime? I can show you around."

Jess cocked an eyebrow like he had hardly heard the girl talk in the first place and shrugged it off. "Sure. Whatever." With that, he threw his arms down on the counter and laid his head down.

Rory wasn't one for giving up. She wanted to show this kid that there were good things in town. Stars Hollow may have been small, but it had a lot to offer, even if you were a nine year-old jerk-face like Jess Mariano.


	2. June 6, 2001

**Stars Hollow — June 2001**

It had been a long lasting tradition that Jess came over on Wednesday nights when Lorelai was working at the Inn so the two could hang out together. It had been eight years since the boy moved to town, but Lorelai still couldn't stand the sight of him for the most part. He had never done anything bad to Rory, so the two teenager didn't understand where she was coming from when it came to her dislike for him. Now, of course, Jess wasn't exactly an angel like Dean Forrester, but he had a lot of layers to him and that's what Rory liked about her best friend.

It was five past nine at night when Rory looked to her side and saw that the couch was empty where Jess would normally be relaxed with his feet up, eating take-out with the girl. She sighed and tears came to her eyes. There was nothing wrong with having a girlfriend, Rory told herself. It's just that she didn't understand how he could ditch their six year long tradition for a girl like Shane. Rory just didn't understand how Jess could be attracted to someone like her. Shane wasn't exactly smart and the only thing she knew how to do was kiss him and have horribly boring conversations. It was like talking to a wall each time she tried to keep a conversation with Shane. Jess was too smart, he was too good and Rory was the only one in the world who could see that. Another thing that drove Rory crazy was the fact that Dean and Jess hated each other, but Rory never bailed on plans to hang out with Dean, even if Dean did pout and whine about it the next day. She just wanted to hang out with her best friend, and that was that.

Within the next ten minutes of waiting for Jess, the girl turned off the TV and started to carry the plates of food into the kitchen. If he wasn't going to show, she was going to study or go to sleep instead. There was no use in waiting around for him whenever he was with Shane. That's just how it was and Rory would have to deal with that. After the girl threw the liter of soda in the fridge, she heard the door open. "Mom?" She yelled from the kitchen. When she didn't hear a response, she knew that it was her monotonous friend and went out to check on him. The girl spotted him sitting on the couch as if she hadn't waited three hours for him. Rory scoffed and crossed her arms, "You're late."

"Sorry," Jess grunted and put his feet up on the coffee table.

Rory rolled her eyes. "Is that really all you have to say?"

"Geez, Ror, I said I was sorry." The boy shook his head, his face full of frustration. Jess knew that there had been a lot of tension between the two, but he didn't know what to do about it at this point. Instead of continuing the grudge between the two, Jess softened up a little bit before straightening up on the couch. "Let's just watch a movie, okay?"

Rory didn't want to budge. "Were you with Shane?"

The boy stood up and sighed. "Why, does it matter if I was?"

The girl shrugged at her friend and shot her eyes to the floor. "It wouldn't matter, I'm just wondering. You've never ditched me on a Wednesday, Jess."

At this point, Jess could see that Rory was obviously upset about this situation. The last thing on earth that he ever wanted to do was cause Rory Gilmore some type of distress or pain. He didn't know what to say anymore, so instead he stood up and went to wrap his arms around her. "Rory," he whispered with his head pressed against hers, "I am sorry. Can we please watch Almost Famous now?"

Rory nodded, but refused to let go at first. She didn't want to give him away to another girl, especially one like Shane. Jess was supposed to be with someone smart and kind, one that understood all the deepest layers of him. Once she stepped back from the hug, Rory cocked her head to look at Jess and threw him a small grin.

"What now?" Jess sighed.

Without a word, Rory ran into her bedroom and found sticky notes on her dresser. The girl scribbled out a few lines on each and returned to the living room. "Sign this." She held out the pen to Jess who gave her an odd look.

"Seriously?" He chuckled. "Rory, this is insane."

Suddenly, Rory had brightened up a bit. The sheer thought of this crazy post-it was enough to make the both of the teenagers smile long enough for the awkwardness of the night to pass them by. "I'm signing this one, now do your part and sign yours as well."

Jess smiled, "Whatever." He scribbled his signature down and handed it to Rory. In exchange, she gave him hers. "What am I even supposed to do with this thing?"

She shrugged. "Use it as a bookmark or put it in your wallet. Just keep it with you." The two smiled at each other, knowing that this was very dumb of them to both do. It was a Post-It. It probably wouldn't mean anything to them in ten years, but it meant the world to them at that particular moment in time and that's what mattered. "Now," Rory yelled as she ran back into the kitchen to collect the food, "do we really have to watch Almost Famous again?"


	3. December 19, 2013

And I think of you whenever life gets me down,  
I think of you whenever you're not around  
And you rest your bones somewhere far from my house,  
but you still pull me home

 **New York City — December 2013**

Rory rummaged through her dresser drawers on her day off in order to find anything else that belonged to her ex and place it in with his boxes before heading off to Stars Hollow for the holidays. It had been a crazy few months and she was ready to get out of the city for once. As much as she thought of New York as her home now, sometimes it was good to escape and go back to somewhere as familiar as Stars Hollow. Not much ever changed there and when it did, Lorelai was right on the phone to tell her daughter about it. The girl felt warm thinking about her hometown, but was still devastated as she searched high and low for Elliott's things. She wanted to wipe the entire apartment clean of that man, but she also wanted to give in and let him come back home. She knew she couldn't be thinking like that, though.

The third drawer was dumped out on the floor. It was all random junk that didn't have any other place in their apartment. Whenever something didn't fit, into the junk drawer it went. Often this would lead to misplaced keys and tape recorders, but they always knew to come back to that one damn drawer.

Rory sighed as she sifted through the pile; she wasn't sure what junk was hers and which was his at this point. None of it even looked slightly familiar until she came across a very beat up copy of Allen Ginsberg's "Howl." The woman smiled softly as she ran her fingers across the cover and all of its cracks. She opened it up to see the well known handwriting in the margins. She had seen this book over and over again — along with Jess' other works of vandalism on her books — but it always took her back to that night in towns square. At that point, the two had known each other for going on five years, but that night everything changed for her in a way. That was the night that she knew how perfect Jess was just because he was an avid reader like herself (even after years of scrutiny from Jess himself about how reading made her so uncool.) That was hard to find in a teenage boy, and it surprised her to find it in a teenage boy named Jess. That's how he became Dodger in the first place. She let a full-blown smile take over her lips at the thought of that perfect memory.

After reading through his notes for the hundredth time in the past sixteen years, she came across a little pink Post-It note that was wrinkled in a million different ways. The girl shook her head as she read it aloud to herself.

I, Jess Mariano, vow to marry Rory Gilmore if we are not seeing anyone at the age of thirty. This is a promise.

She stroked the piece of paper back and forth with her thumb and thought about Jess and how much time had gone by since the last time they spoke or the last time they even saw each other. It had been a few years now and Rory didn't understand how she let it get that bad between the two of them. The last words they said to each other weren't the nicest seeing that they came out of spite and alcohol. Since then, the two always seemed to miss each other on holidays. Jess was never in town to see his mom, step dad, and uncle when Rory was around. He'd skip Christmases and spend them with his new friends or with his dad and Sasha in Venice where it was always warm and sunny, no matter the season. The woman missed him dearly, but he was almost an after thought these days.

Without hesitation, Rory picked up her phone and quickly dialed her mother.

"House of Beauty, this is Cutie." Lorelei answered and Rory could almost hear the grin on her face as she thought up that clever line.

Rory chuckled to herself. Her mother never changed and that's what she loved the most about her. "Well Cutie, I have a favor to ask of you and Luke."

"What's going on, babe? Do we have to bail you out of jail again? This is like the fifth time, Rory. You really need to stop doing that."

"Jail?" Luke spoke up from the other line.

"Yes, jail. Our perfect angel is in jail." Lorelei joked and Luke scoffed. "Really, Ror, what's up?"

With a deep breath, Rory tried her best to conjure up the words, but they came out as a simplistic plea instead. "Jess," she spat out, "please get Jess to come home this year."

A few seconds of silence passed between the mother and daughter before she heard her mother exhale deeply. "Is that a good idea? I know what happened between you two."

"Mom," Rory whined, "I need to see him."

Lorelei quickly talked to Luke. Rory couldn't quite make out the conversation, but she knew that Luke always took her side. If it was Jess that Rory wanted, Luke would find a way to make that happen. After what seemed like forever, Lorelai finally came back. "Luke says he'll try to get him here," she explained. "Just… Be careful, okay? If you think this is a bad idea, we'll put a stop to it before he comes."

Rory nodded, forgetting that her mom couldn't see her at that moment. "I just want to see him," she muttered under her breath, "I miss him."

"I'm sure you do, sweetie." Lorelei sounded sympathetic, but Rory didn't know if it was genuine or not. Her mother wasn't exactly Jess' biggest fan, but she knew that she'd be able to slightly understand where her daughter was coming from. "I gotta go make sure Luke isn't getting into trouble with Babette," Lorelai quipped. "I'll see you in a few days, alright?"

"Bye, mom." Rory ended the conversation and hit the end button on her phone. Earlier all she wanted for Christmas was stability and maybe even Elliott, but now that she thought deeper about it, all she truly wanted was to have her best friend back and hopefully Luke would come through with that wish.


	4. December 23, 2013 (i)

**A/N:** Hello, loves! So this is chapter four and I think I might slow down on posting for awhile now so I don't post three or so a day like I did yesterday. Also, I would like to apologies if your computers are acting the way mine has and by that I mean everything that's bolded and italicized happens in the docs, but it doesn't show up on my computer and does on my phone. The whole thing is a bit confusing to me and I don't understand what FF is doing. So I'm sorry if it seems a little weird on my notes and titles. As always, please follow, favorite, and review if you enjoy the story so far!

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 **Stars Hollow — December 2013**

It had been four days since Rory talked to Lorelai and Luke about getting Jess in town for the holidays. Four days and she hadn't heard a word out of the two of them except for the occasional "I love you and miss you" text or whenever Lorelai was arguing with Luke about something stupid. Since the marriage, the two used Rory as the middle man in almost every argument, big or small, that they could. The girl drove into town while blasting Christmas music in her warm car. Outside, she could see that fluffy white snow had coated the town over night, making it as lovely as ever. This was always her favorite way to see the town and she knew she got that from her mother.

The woman drove down two more streets and parked her car in front of Luke's Diner. She knew that he'd be waiting there with fresh coffee and pie for her like always. As she stepped out of her car, the blistering cold wind hit her cheeks and though she wanted to run back into warmth, she smiled because she was finally home. Once inside, Lorelai and Luke ran over to her immediately and the three began exchanging their to-do list for the holiday. After a few minutes of hearing the mile-per-second talk that came out of her mothers mouth, Rory put her hands up in the air. "Mom," she smiled and took a sip of the coffee that Luke already had in hand for her, "I love you and we will get to everything in a bit, but you have to tell me. Is he here or not?"

From behind the counter, Luke's head started bobbing up and down. The man pointed to the ceiling and Rory finally heard the familiar sound of The Clash blasting through the upstairs apartment. The girl felt a weird sensation come over her. It was familiar and warm, but it was also riddled with anxiety and doubt. "He just got here," Luke explained, "I told him to go see his mother, but he was adamant about taking a nap. I wasn't gonna argue with him." Luke shrugged as he cut a piece of apple pie for the two Gilmore girls and took it over to him.

"And he's good?" Rory asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Ever since she found that little Post-It not, she couldn't stop thinking about Jess. She didn't even know where he was these days. He wasn't one for social media, after all. It was hard to keep up with someone that kept his life very secretive in these tell-all days. Even Lorelai updated Facebook constantly, albeit there were a lot of movie scenes and pictures of Paul Anka, usually, but that didn't stop people from getting a laugh out of it all. Jess was just a different breed and they all knew that from the start.

In the next forty minutes, Rory and Lorelai caught up on everything that had happened since Thanksgiving. The two talked non-stop, but Lorelai kept little notes of things that she needed to talk about or ask Rory face-to-face. In that time, Miss Patty and Kirk had already wandered in and said hello to Rory. On top of that, she got an old fashion show down between Luke and Taylor — something about Taylor wanting to string Christmas lights and put up decorations — of course, as usual, Luke wasn't having it. This rivalry had gone on for years now and at this point, Rory thought that Luke said no to everything just to piss Taylor off. Either way, it made for some great entertainment.

After all had settled down and the two had talked about almost everything Lorelai had made a note of, Rory heard the music turn off. Her mother was going on about something that happened on a late night show, but Rory had lost her concentration as soon as she heard footsteps moving around upstairs. Suddenly, it felt as if her fight or flight instincts had set in. She wanted so badly to run out the door and drive back to her lonely apartment in New York, but instead, she froze completely. Once the footsteps made their way to the stairs, the girl shut her eyes and squeezed them tightly, wishing that it was all a dream and that she could wake up. She didn't know what she was thinking, asking him to come back for Christmas. That was just dumb of her to do. Jess hated her. Hell, she hated Jess, as well.

From their regular table by the window, Rory turned her head slightly in order to catch a glimpse of him coming down the stairs. His boyish face was still in tact, but he was much more mature than the last time they had seen each other. He still dressed the same — in t-shirts and jeans. He had a broken in and very expensive looking leather jacket hanging from his arm and the girl just grinned at the sight of him. Jess had gone on to do wonderful things in his life, but he was still the kid she adored. The man went over to talk to his uncle and went right ahead to the door of the diner. She thought he didn't recognize her, but in a split second, he did a double take and shook his head as she looked up at him with some sort of hope in her eyes.

The two exchanged a look of confusion and Jess sighed as he quickly put his jacket on. "You've got to be kidding me," he muttered under his breath before heading out the door and slamming it shut behind him.

The girl looked at her mother for an answer, but Lorelai was staring at her coffee and trying to mind her own business. Without a word, Rory stood up and grabbed her coat as she went after him. He hadn't gotten too far — only across the street in front of Doose's Market and Rory caught up with him faster than she thought she could. "Jess," she yelled, trying to get him to turn around. "Jess, please talk to me." The man kept walking and was suddenly headed towards the lake. Rory wished the lake wasn't frozen over right now because she would've loved to push him in for not listening to her. " _Jess_!" Rory groaned loudly as she shoved her hands into her pockets. She had not worn the right kind of boots for this. She didn't expect to be tromping through snow, trying to get the attention of the man who she once called her best friend. "For the love of God, Jess! Can you talk to me, please?"

He finally let out a sharp sigh as he walked onto the bridge. "They told me you weren't going to be here," he explained. "They coaxed me here to this shitty place saying that they would really love to spend a holiday with me and I was dumb enough to believe them." Jess shook his head and turned around and Rory could finally see that infamous shit-eating grin on his face — the one he wore whenever he was pissed off at the world. She never meant to be the cause of that painful smirk.

"Jess," Rory said in a calm voice, "please listen to me." Jess looked as if he was going to turn around again, but instead nodded and decided to hear her out. "I'm sorry," she started, "things shouldn't have gotten this bad between us and I'm sorry. I wanted to see you so badly. I miss having you to talk to. It's supposed to always be Rory and Jess, remember?"

Jess shook his head. "You're starting to sound a bit childish, don't you think?" He asked with an obnoxious tone.

"There's nothing childish about wanting to mend bridges that weren't supposed to burned in the first place," she explained. "C'mon," she begged, "can we at least talk about this?"

Jess didn't say a thing. He stared at her, trying to figure out the words to say, but found himself short of anything to say. After a few freezing minutes had passed, Jess rubbed his hands together. "You look like you're about to freeze to death," he said as he turned on his heel. "Let's go back to Luke's."

Rory didn't know what had just happened with his attitude, but she knew it'd turn into a large fight sooner or later. If he could play nice for now, she'd enjoy every second of it until the yelling set in anytime within the next few days.


	5. September 19, 2001

**A/N:** Hello, loves! I just wanted you to know that this is a bit of a filler chapter with canon events in it. I will be posting the next future chapter in the next twenty-four hours though, so stay tuned! Also, don't forget to review, favorite, and follow! xx (Also, the quote from this chapter is taken from The Complete Short Stories by Ernest Hemingway

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 **Stars Hollow — September 2001**

It was going on hour 22 of the annual couples dance marathon. Rory was already groggy and fighting sleep as her mother ran off to get her broken heel fixed by Luke. For the past few minutes, Dean had done nothing but argue with Rory about Jess because he was there watching all the dancers. Rory didn't mind it. It's not like he had much better to do anyway seeing that Jess didn't particularly like anyone but Rory.

"Dean," Rory said sternly with anger spreading over her face. As dearly as she loved her boyfriend, she couldn't stand how much he hated Jess. " _Stop_." With that one word, she pursed her lips together and tried to stare him down so he didn't make a scene, but that's exactly what he was about to do, even if they were in the middle of the town square at that very moment.

The tall boy shook his head and let out a hesitant scoff. "Admit it," he threw his hands in the air, "you like Jess."

Jess rolled his eyes. " _God_ , man, do you ever just leave her alone? Seems like you spend more time talking about me than anything else." It was always Jess' prerogative to piss Dean off and Rory started growing heated at her best friend as well because of that.

"Jess, don't even start," she warned him. The girl took a deep breath and thought seriously about walking away from the two of them. She couldn't believe that they'd go at each other and Rory in the middle of a town function. She didn't want them to create a scene, but more and more of the town grew interested in listening in on the teens.

Rory shook her head and held up her free pass to get her out of the dance for ten minutes and left the room while dragging the two boys along behind her. Jess's button up was in one hand and the sleeve of Dean's jacket was in the other. She felt as if she had two children that were acting out in public and she had to reprimand them quickly.

"I'm going to take your silence as a clue that you do like Jess," Dean said as soon as they stepped outside. He wasn't having it with the two friends anymore. Anyone could see that she liked him, except for himself. "Congratulations," Dean scoffed dramatically at Jess. "I'm done. You can have her."

The boy walked away without letting the other two get a word in. Rory's eyes welled up with tears as soon as he left. She couldn't believe that this was happening. A few seconds later, Jess was already pulling her into his arms in order to comfort the girl. It was an odd sight to see - not very Jess-like at all, but he couldn't let her cry on her own like that.

"That guy's a jerk," he whispered to her. "You don't need him anyway. You've got me." Jess held Rory tight, trying to protect her from whatever she was feeling at that exact moment. He never liked Dean anyway, but to break up with her in the style that he did really drove Jess insane. "Let's go back in."

Rory shook her head as kept her face buried in his chest. "Jess, I really don't want to go back in there."

The boy bit his bottom lip for a moment before grabbing Rory's arms and gently pulling her away from him. The girl looked startled, not wanting Jess to leave her or to go off after Dean. But instead Jess picked up her hand and dragged her away back to the lake. She smiled through the tears as the two sat down together. This is where they'd go every time something big happened whether it was good or bad. This was _their_ spot and there was something that'd always be sacred about it. They sat down so that their feet were hanging above the water and the girl leaned into him once more.

For minutes on end, the two sat there without speaking and instead listening to the lake and creatures around them. Rory cleared her throat and sat up on her own. As she wiped her face clean, she looked over at Jess and tried her very best to smile. "I'm sorry. This is not how the night was supposed to go an-and I know silence kills you, but I don't have much to say, so you might as well get used to it for now."

Jess looked over at his grieving, broken hearted friend and shook his head. " _I do not need to get used to your silence_ ," he quoted with a mischievous smirk, " _I already know it. I quite possibly love all of it_."

Rory was awestruck as he spoke those beautiful words. "Who said that?"

"Hemingway." Jess shrugged.

The girl rolled her eyes. "I can't get into Hemingway."

"So I've heard, but you should know that Ernest only has lovely things to say about you."

Rory leaned over and placed a delicate kiss on Jess' cheek and the moment her lips touched his skin, all she felt was the blood rushing to his cheeks and creating heat. The girl smiled a bit as she pulled back, but acted like she didn't notice so it didn't embarrass him more. "Thank you, Jess. For everything."


	6. December 23, 2013 (ii)

A/N: Hello, loves! I am so sorry it's been forever. Life and school got super busy, but I've finally had some downtime to update everything. Please favorite, follow, and review! It makes me a happy little writer. P.S. This has a small hint of what happened in it and it was also written on mobile, so if you spot any mistakes, please blame autocorrect

* * *

 **December 2013, continued**

Later in the evening tensions were high between the ex-friends, ex-lovers, ex-fiancee's, ex-whatever-you-want-to-label-it. Luke and Lorelai were quick to catch on, but they didn't say anything to them. Instead, every now and then Lorelai would sneak into the kitchen while Luke was cooking dinner and they'd sigh and groan about the situation their daughter and nephew were in.

"Maybe you should pull out the Bop-It," Luke joked with a bitter look on his face. Lorelai admits that it wasn't her greatest idea for him and Dean, but it was worth a shot.

"Well," Lorelai exhaled heavily as the entered back into the living room. It was quiet and too still be considered normal. Jess kept his glance at a spot on the floor while Rory chewed on her bottom lip and looked like a lost puppy. Lorelai couldn't stand the sight of the two acting this way. What had happened between them was years ago, but it was if time stood still between them and their grudges continued through it all. She recalled the days when she heard nothing but laughter out of the two; it was usually book related or an inside joke, but it was good to see Rory let out a genuine laugh every time she was with Jess. He truly tickled her fancy and it was obvious that he felt the same way. "So, Jess, I'm really happy that you're here. It's been awhile, kid."

Jess looked up in shock. He had never heard nice words about him come from Lorelai Gilmore and it left him feeling strange and uncomfortable. "Thanks," he said in his normal monosyllabic voice. "I guess it's better than spending another Christmas alone." Out of the corner of his eye, Jess saw Rory roll her eyes. Even though they had talked a bit earlier about the past, both of them were still torn and angry with one another. Jess easily became ticked off and shot his head in her direction as his brows raised and became stiff. "Do you have something to add?"

Rory shook her head and sat back into the couch with her arms crossed. She wanted to blurt out a million things all at once, but she wasn't too sure if that'd be a good idea, so she kept to herself.

Lorelai rolled her eyes at the two of them. "Oh my God," she mumbled. "You two are thirty years-old - not five. Use your words. I know you were raised better than this."

Rory let out a groan at her mother. It was like they were teenagers all over again. Rory couldn't believe that she actually wanted Jess to be in town in the first place all because she saw some silly Post-It and forgot what happened over the years. It had been five years since they had last spoken and gone their separate ways and maybe, just maybe, it was for the best. It wasn't worth all the tears and screaming or the nights that Jess didn't call her back when they first started dating.

"So, you've had your differences," Lorelai started in again with a frustrated tone, "but that doesn't mean that you should act like this. It's been five whole years. You two were supposed to be married with kids right now. I know what happened, but life's short. Live and let live, kids."

Jess started tapping his foot rapidly and shaking his head. With a shit eating grin on his face he turned to Lorelai and spit out words of spite. "It's not my fault that she chose some blonde rich kid over me."

"Oh, c'mon," Rory rolled her eyes. "You didn't care about anything - not me, not our relationship. It's just as much your fault as it was mine."

"Right, all of that is why I proposed in the first place."

With that, lingering aggressions hung in their air along with the Christmas spirit that only Lorelai was carrying this year. In her mind, she was thinking that spending Christmas with Kirk would be less stressful than spending it pent up in a house Jess and Rory. The dinner table was quiet and out of everyone there, Luke was the one to hate it the most. Usually silence was his favorite, but there was something about this tension that got under his skin. "Alright, we're going to talk about it. Not tip toe, but talk. Like adults do. Do you remember that you're adults? Jess, do you know that Rory was the one that asked you to be here?" Luke's voice rose and fell a few times, making him sound exhausted of the situation.

Jess set down his fork and crossed his arms as he leaned back against his chair "Why?" He shot his glance in Rory's direction, but as soon as their eyes met, she stood up and headed towards her bedroom. "Ror," Jess sighed.

The three of them watched in silence as Rory rummaged through her suitcase and pulled out a book. The minute she found the Post-It, she marched back in and slammed it down in front of Jess. "That's why," she said with a hurt and embarrassed tone as Jess looked it over.

As soon as he saw the color of the note, he knew exactly what it was and he was taken back to the day when they wrote it. It was silly, to say the least. But after all of this time - after all of the broken promises and stomped hearts - the Post-It still made sense in the slightest way possible. "Huh," Jess nodded.

Rory knew what that simple syllable meant. It was just an agreement, most of the time. He didn't look upset which made the girl feel good for once, but she still felt like screaming out that she missed him. He would never believe her, though.

No questions were asked throughout the rest of dinner, but a lighthearted conversation about the town and their happens started flowing. Rory and Jess talked about work and nothing more until they started to stand up and clear the table.

On his way out for a cigarette, Jess leaned into Rory's side. "We'll talk tonight," he promised.


	7. May 8, 2008

**A/N:** Hey, everyone! I'm sorry that this took quite some time to update. I've been super busy with school, but I have a two week break until I go back, so I thought I'd try to get back into the swing of things beforehand. Please favorite, follow, and comment if you're happy about the Gilmore Girls revival!

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 **May 8, 2008** \- _Rory and Jess' apartment in New York City_

On a chilly May day, the couple decided to clean out the clutter in their apartment as the rain pounded down from the clouds and onto their almost-broken windows. The place was small, but quaint and there was a charm that hung with every bookshelf, record, and photo on the walls - a charm that only _they_ had. Rory rummaged through their bedroom closet, pulling out things to either toss away or donate to charity, and Jess sat behind her while wearing a blank, poker face. There was something off about him that day, but the girl couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. In the entire time that she had known him, he had only been like this once and that was the night that her and Dean broke up. Whatever it was, Rory decided to shrug it off and continue on her cleaning endeavor which she despised the entire time.

Upon coming across a black shoebox, the girl held it up for Jess to see behind her back. "What's this?" Jess, forgetting that Rory couldn't see him, just shrugged. It was a long enough silence that Rory sighed and finally turned around. "Is it yours?" Again, he shrugged. "Okay, Silent Bob, the whole no-talking bit is getting old." The girl rolled her eyes and opened the box in front of him.

She sorted through all of the items with a small grin on her face. First, she took out a worn book and held it up. " _Love in the Time of Cholera_ ," she said and shook her head while reading the back cover. She had only read it once in high school and took it back to the library afterwards, so she knew the book couldn't have been hers. "Is this even yours? I can't picture you reading anything like this."

Jess put on an embarrassing face and sighed. "To him-" he cleared his dry throat before starting again. " _To him she seemed to beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was disturbed by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else's heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flights of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for the fear of destroying the spell_."

Rory looked at him with an odd stare as her eyebrows knit downwards. She didn't understand the silent treatment, but most importantly, she did not understand his need to recite something. It was lovely, yes, but it wasn't like Jess to go around reciting his favorite parts of books. Instead, he would usually jot down some notes in the margins and leave it at that. As Rory thought about the notes, she flipped her way through the book and ran her index finger down some of the writing. Most of it was worn and rubbing off of the pages like it had been a copy that he carried on him for years. Other parts, however, seemed like fresh ink which made Rory more confused than she already had been. Why wasn't it on one of the bookshelves instead of hidden away in a shoebox? The girl shook her head at the thought, knowing that Jess wasn't exactly normal per-se.

Jess watched as his girlfriend made her way through the book and his breath hitched more and more in his throat as she inched further to the end. He almost couldn't handle the nervousness that had been sitting in the pit of his stomach since the moment he had gotten up that morning and wanted to run out the door and scream loudly from the rooftops just to get the anxiety out of his system.

On page 95, part of a paragraph had jumped out at her with its bright orange highlighter and the circles around the text. " _Tell him yes. Even if you are dying of fear, even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do, you will be sorry for the rest of your life if you say no_."

There were a few more highlighted passages that Rory stopped to read, but what really got her curiosity was the golden bookmark that sat at the end of the book. After going through at least two hundred pages in less than a few minutes, she decided it was time to see what was so important that Jess had actually used a book marker since it was very unlike him to do so. As she grabbed at it and flipped towards the final page, Jess felt as if his entire world was about to come to a crashing halt, but he pressed on.

 _"And how long do you think we can keep up this goddamn coming and going?" he asked._  
 _Florentino Ariza had kept his answer ready for fifty-three years, seven months, and eleven days._  
 _"Forever," he said._

"Turn over the bookmark, Rory." Jess said before biting down on his bottom lip.

Rory listened and did just that, only to find a rather large diamond attached to a silver band. The bookmark read, " _Only God knows how much I love you_." Immediately, tears rushed to her eyes and ran down her cheeks without her being able to speak a word.

"Rory Gilmore," Jess said with a shaky, nervous voice as he reached his hands for hers. "Will you marry me?"


	8. December 23, 2013 (iii)

**A/N:** Hey, loves! Sorry for the absence as of late. I'm hoping to update more frequently (sorry if I've said this before), but life's been very, very busy lately and it's hard to get time to write. Thank you all so much for sticking around and loving this fic, though. It means so much to me! Also, who else is excited about Jess coming back for the revival?! Or excited about the revival in general, lol. Anyway, please favorite, follow, and review if you like it! x

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Later that night, the two sat on Lorelai's front porch and looked out into the stillness of the neighbor hood. A bitter wind nipped at Rory's cheeks, making her turn bright pink in the early winters grasp. Jess sat next to her with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. Whenever he exhaled the smoke, he thought of speaking up, but nothing was coming out. For being writers, it should be easy to express words aloud, but the two of them could only sit there, feeling the freezing cold seep into their bones, instead of searching for literally anything to talk about. Every now and then, she could see Jess shake his head out of the corner of her eye and hoped he would speak up, but instead he would just bring the cigarette back to his lips and stay quiet.

Inside the house, Luke and Lorelai watched from the living room. The two didn't know whether or not if they should be concerned or to laugh at the obvious discomfort that filled the atmosphere that night.

After what seemed like hours of nothingness, Rory shifted to stand up from the step. Out of nowhere, Jess reached for her hand and gingerly tried to pull her back down next to him. The girl cocked her head to the side as she looked at him. His eyes were still peering out into the street before them, but she decided that the gesture was enough to keep her put for a little while longer.

"So," he finally, inhaling the frosty air deeply into his lungs.

"So," she repeated with a nod. To Rory, this felt like the first day all over again. They had been friends for years, but nothing was more awkward and humiliating than talking to Jess the day after the dance. The two stood in Luke's apartment like they had never once been left on their own devices before. Rory remembered how it felt; how she didn't know what to say or do and how Jess didn't either. All they knew what to do was nod and sigh every now and then and how the distance between where they stood felt like a hundred yards. Now, they were sitting only inches away from one another and she had the same exact feeling all over again, only this time, it was serious. This time it's not an innocent situation where only good things can come of it. The only thing that could come out of their current situation could've been more sadness, tears, and heart break. Or at least that's how Rory saw it. "It's been a long time," she frowned.

A corner of Jess' lips turned up into a faint, half-hearted smile. "I'm nervous, too."

The girl thought she was going to break under the softness of his voice. "Good, I'm not alone."

He shook his head, letting the smile slip away from his face. "I don't know what I'm doing here," he admitted and looked over at her with uncertainty written all over his face. "Did you and Richie Rich not work out? Is that why I'm here?"

Rory's heart sunk in her chest. He didn't sound upset, but instead, there was a hint of hurt in his voice. Straightaway, Rory started shaking her head. "No, Jess, that's- That's _not_ -" She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Jess, but she knew that she had pained him deeply in the past. "I love you. That's why you're here."

"Oh c'mon, Rory," he scoffed and turned to face her. As soon as he did, he was met with her big, blue Bambi eyes, making him feel weak instantly. Eventually, he pulled his eyes away from hers in order to finish his thought. "You can't just say that after all of this time, ya'know. That dumb Post-It doesn't mean anything."

She felt tears starting to sting her eyes, but tried her best to force them back. That wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, but something in her knew that he didn't mean it. "The Post-It means everything." Her voice low enough to come off as a whisper, physical pain sept through her words, making Jess' heart clench.

"We were kids," he shrugged. "I proposed for real and you- You didn't stick around long enough to even give that a fair shot. I think it's time that you let it go. It is what it is. You, me."

She hung her head low as the tears started to flow. Jess didn't need to actually see the tears in order to notice that she was crying, but he ignored it, knowing that she was trying to hide. "How can you say that?"

The man chuckled and stood up, deciding to light up another cigarette. He thought he was going to lose it as he kept laughing. After the first drag, he pointed a finger at her. "You left me, remember? You left me for some blond douchebag out of nowhere. We were going to get married, and then you fucking left." He shook his head as he found the irony in the situation. "I showed up here so I didn't have to spend a fifth Christmas by myself," he threw his hands in the air, gesturing around the town, "in Stars Hollow of all places. But not for one second did I think that you just asked me here because of a Post-It we wrote on when we were sixteen."

By this time, Rory's tears felt like icicles on her face, but she couldn't help herself. She had never cried because of Jess before, but she wasn't sure if it was because of him or her stupid actions. "It was dumb and I'm sorry." Her apology sounded stubborn and genuine at the same time. Jess wondered if it was because he had upset her and she wanted him to shut up, but at the same time, he wanted to know if she meant it.

He took a few steps forward in order to sit next to her. Without a thought in his mind, he absentmindedly threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "Don't apologize," he whispered as he placed his head on top of hers. "There's nothing to apologize for. It was five years ago."

Rory frowned, hating that it had been so long before they had gotten all of this out in the open. The conversation wasn't finished, but there was something in her that wanted to stay silent for now. "I want my friend back." After those words were spoken, she swore she could hear Jess crack a smile.

"I want my friend back too." He held her close and felt her shiver a bit in his arms. "Lets get you inside, alright? It's freezing out here."

The two trailed back into the house and saw Lorelai and Luke frantically running to sit on the couch. Luke cleared his throat, hoping that neither of them noticed, but Lorelai knew that they did. "How's it going?" She asked nonchalantly. They both shrugged in unison. "Well, I didn't hear any yelling or doors slamming, so I'd assume that's a good thing?" She raised a brow, waiting for an answer. "Did we act like adults finally?"

Rory smiled at her mother, feeling actual embarrassment. They had been acting like children and everyone in the house could admit that. "We did," Rory nodded.

The room fell silent once more, driving Luke insane. "Who wants hot chocolate?" He asked as he stood from his uncomfortable position on the couch. The three raised their hands as he parted the two friends to talk towards the kitchen.

Lorelai watched closely at the two, feeling relieved that there wasn't such a strong tension in the air anymore. It was still there, but baby stepped often worked. As soon as Luke left, the two eyed each other and gave one another small grins. The older Gilmore girl closed her eyes and smiled to herself, thanking the universe that they were acting somewhat okay once again. At least now she knew that it wasn't going to be an awkward Christmas.


End file.
